Just when you think you’re getting the better of them (hello, Fortis?) they’re, in fact, getting the better of you. Long or Short Capital does some deep research into the latest billionaire bagged by a bank, and finds out just who’s bagging who.

Tap That Bank, Tap That Bank, Tap That Bank

By Johnny Debacle

This headline teaser caught my eye this morning on WSJ.com:

“Russian Investor Backs Fortis

Fortis is tapping a Russian billionaire for a $630 million capital injection, a sign that banks are looking beyond Asian and Middle Eastern investors for help shoring up their shaky finances.”

—

1. It seems more apt to say that the Russian billionaire is the one doing the tapping, right before he injects $630 million in liquidity.

2. A Russian billionaire is really looking far beyond Asian and Middle Eastern investors. Totally different beast. Instead of being an extremely wealthy oligarch in a corrupt totalitarian state whose wealth is 100% dependent on commodities, the Russian billionaire is a wealthy oligarch in a corrupt tsarist state whose wealth is 100% dependent on commodities.

3. A Reuters report has attributes these comments to Fortis (Brussels: FORB) chairman Maurice Lippens on the overall transaction: “Fortis expects no more capital raising.” According to our proprietary translation algorithm, that statement indicates that investors should expect the raising of significant additional capital.

Recommendation: Read the linked Wikipedia article on the Russian investor, Suleyman Kerimov, it’s mindblowing. His nickname is “Russia’s Richest Civil Servant”, the source of his significant wealth cannot actually be determined and he has a yacht named “Ice.” Oh and he is also tapping the oligarchbait above (with his liquidity).

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