You know, we thought that security warnings were typically issued for terrorist-plagued nations. But at UBS, they’re now being sent to upper-level bank staffers responsible for wealthy clients in the U.S. (as in, don’t go into the U.S., lest you be body-snatched by the pen-pushing, regulation-mad, tax-hoarding authorities and by the time we find you there’s nothing left of you but a padded room, a note to your wife and a Hugo Boss belt buckle.) Here, all you need to know about the makings of the new Bubonic plague.

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